Coach's shorts.

Editor's Note: This picture is solely to look at my dad's shorts and not meant to showcase my permed hair and "Big Dog's" t-shirt or my sisters huge teddy bear t-shirt and giant glasses.  Thanks.

Ooooh, Dad. 


Those shorts.


Coach's shorts to be exact.


I'm not sure if you should've worn those.  Ever. 


And I'm just going to go ahead and state that you should never wear them again.  Ever.

I know they're still in your closet (partially because I cleaned out your closet for you recently and partly because you recently told me you thought about wearing them). 


And I know that you think they still fit.  I'm sure they do; I'm not doubting that you can still get them on.  The question, however, is do they still look as good as that picture up there? 


Answer: No.


The ultimate question: do you have to be a coach to wear coach's shorts?


Apparently the answer is no again.
As far as I know, dad, you weren't a coach...right?  I mean you helped me out when I played sports in my younger years, obviously--that's why I was so awesome at anything that I attempted. 


100% polyester doesn't look great on just anyone and everyone and especially on the lower half.


In conclusion, dad, I think it's time to put the coach's shorts into permanent retirement (along with a couple of sweaters still in your closet...just sayin....) 

I mean you're getting ready to move and a good closet clean out is a must; I think most would agree with me.  As always, I'm here to assist you with getting rid of all of that stuff that you just shouldn't wear any longer...

This guy: obviously a coach.  Duh.  I mean he has a matching coach's shirt for goodness sakes.