Monday, August 30, 2010

wal-mart.

I hate this place.  I try to avoid it as much as possible, but there are certain circumstances that require that I grace this store with my presence.  For example, when I need to get groceries and say yard stuff, or groceries and hair care products.  I love you Target, but sometimes you aren't as economical as the mart.

My most recent hatred came this past Sunday.  I went in the early afternoon (mistake 1) to get a cheap entertainment center for my basement.  I had been earlier in the weekend and knew what I was looking for.  I mosey on over to the furniture section to pick up said entertainment center and realize this fake piece of wood is actually A LOT heavier than I had imagined.  Trying to wrangle this giant box into my cart was not easy.  Luckily there were plenty of other people around to help.  (mistake 2)  NO ONE HELPED ME!!!!!  People just watched.  So there I am trying to maneuver this huge box into my cart that is on wheels, mind you, and seriously, people just watched this happen.  I'm sure it was quite the show, me trying to hold the cart still with one leg, propping the box up with the other leg and then trying to shove the box into the cart with all of my muscles. 

At this point there is no way for me to find a Wal-Mart worker to help me so I took one for the team (my wrist) and managed to get the sucker into my cart.  I had a few more items to grab before I could leave (mistake 3) so I take off in search of those items.  Bad, no HORRIBLE, idea.  The cart weighs approximately 500 lbs at this point, I can't see anything, but everyone in Wal-Mart thinks it to be a good idea to walk in front of me, stop, or to shoo their small children in front of my cart.  I was this close (like inches) to hitting a little kiddo, I kid you not. 
This is an actual image of what my cart looked like with me behind it. 

I finally round up all of my other stuff and make my way to the checkout line where a cute little old grannie checks me out.  She wasn't the speediest checker-outer, but she got the job done.  My next challenge was getting the beast out of my cart and into my car.  Once again I used the 'ol leg trick and we were off, only to realize that my muscles had used up all of their strength at Wal-Mart so the only way to get the box from the garage to the basement was to verrrry slowly twist the box back and forth until it was in a good spot to open it up to assemble it. 

After a few hours of hard labor and getting pissed at my dog for putting something on backwards I finally have a little tiny entertainment center, perfect for the beast of a TV that Monica left for me in her move back to Wichita. (thanks dude!)

I'm so handy.  Please call me if I can assist you with any house projects.


Lastly, I know you've all seen this, but it always makes me giggle seeing the crazies that shop at Wal-Mart



1 comment:

  1. Dude this is so so great! I am laughing and wishing i could have been there to watch, and of course not help!

    Mon

    ReplyDelete