Tuesday, November 30, 2010

diarrhea part deux

Not only did my dog have the squirts for the second night in a row, but when I gingerly placed the toilet paper and turds in the toilet last night, the toilet clogged up and I had to bust out the plunger.  Thank goodness I bought one of those things....

This reminds me of the one other time I had to use a plunger. 

Back in the day my old roommates and I had some friends visiting from college.  Everyone was getting ready to go out and one of the guys used my bathroom. 

Not a big deal...right?  Right. 

Until I got home later that night and much to my surprise there is a giant turd left in my bathroom toilet.  I KNOW he was the last one to be in my bathroom.  Besides, who doesn't flush? 

So, after saying a few expletives, I flush the toilet, or more accurately I tried to flush the toilet...much to my dismay, the water in the toilet was quickly rising, and along with it the turd. 

Luckily, somehow, the turd made it's way down the tunnel, but the water in the toilet found its way to my bathroom floor.  I have a very strong gag reflex so there was almost a little vom along with the toilet water. 

I was running around our apartment like a crazy lady trying to find the plunger.  For awhile when I couldn't find it, I was shoving a wire hanger down the toilet.  That didn't work so well. 

Sadly, I was the only one home to witness this mess as everyone else was still at the bar (stupid retail job).  I found the plunger, finally, shoved it down the toilet, and like magic, the water slowly went back down. 

Now, I only had to clean up this mess that was on my bathroom floor.  Luckily (I guess?) I had a few bathroom rugs scattered about so that sopped up most of the water and I was able to throw those into the wash.  After doing this I of course had to mop.  This was exactly why I came home early; to clean up poopy, toilet water....ugh, not so much...all I wanted to do was go to bed.

Oh well, it made for a good story as I was cleaning up I called everyone still at the bar to make the announcment of the giant turd I found in my toilet.

Thanks Buddy!  I loved cleaning up after your floater!

Monday, November 29, 2010

did someone call the fire department?

A few years ago, a few of my friends and I were staying at our friends Jess and Matt's house out of town to go to a wedding.

As per any wedding rules, we all had a few too many drinks the night before.

After waking up the next morning and grabbing some breakfast we noticed that there was some beeping coming from something in the dining room.  By process of elimination we figured out that it was either the smoke alarm or the carbon monoxide dectector. We were hungover and not thinking clearly...ok?

Matt, of course, was busy at work being a fire fighter so it was up to us girls to figure out what to do.  The beeping WOULDN'T STOP! 

We tried pushing buttons and probably hitting the things, but nothing would work.  I had to go to work on that particular Sunday morning so I decided to hop in the shower to get a headstart on getting ready in case the house was going to blow up or something.

About halfway into my shampoo one of the girls knocked on the door to let me know that the fire department was on the way.  Awesome; just where I want to be when some potentially cute fire fighters were on their way over. 

I quickly finished my shower so that I could at least be in some clothes when the Topeka FD arrived.  After getting dressed and throwing a towel on my head to help my hair dry quicker, I made my way outside. 

As I arrived outside, I was greeted by the rest of the girls who were all sporting their PJ's and bed hair.  All except for my friend Marla.

Marla was standing outside with a bag of stuff perched on a stairstep ratting her hair.   For real. 

I mean, I barely was able to throw on any clothes and she's out there with her make up brushes, hairspray, a mirror and a ratting comb.  Mar was just concerned about looking hot for the firemen on their way to Jess' house. 

As luck would have it the Topuka Fire Department didn't have any hotties working, so Mar's work was all in vain.  Good try though, buddy.  Better luck next time?

Wow. This is a really old picture.  I know this because a) my hair is short and blondish and b) because that dress is from college.  Yikes.  I guess Monica and I were serenading Marla at the wedding reception.  My guess is that it sounded really good.  The time on this picture should give you some indication of how long we drank on this day...oy.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Hey. Dad.

Remember when I asked you to not feed Laila people food?

My point that she would be sick was proven true tonight when she diarrheaed in my spare bedroom.  Also, all the way back to my house she farted.  On my lap.  For close to two hours.  The only good thing that has come out of her eating too many mashed potatoes, turkey, and dinner rolls is how lethargic she is.  Girlfriend can barely keep her little eyes open tonight.

So, anyway, maybe next time you'll listen to me?  If not, I'm sure she can work her magic on your carpet somewhere. 

Saturday, November 27, 2010


I watched my first episode last night! 

I know, I know...get with the times, lady!

The last thing I need is to add another TV show to my list....but I guess since it's getting cold outside...and I normally don't watch anything in particular on Tuesday nights, that I could probably add this one to my list!

It was so good this week!  I mean, not that I have anything to compare it to, but there were parts that were bringing tears to my eyes. I'm already looking forward to a new episode (or a rerun is fine too!).

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

lunch envy

I have a serious problem lately.

I bring a delicious lunch (usually some sort of leftover from the night before) and all I want is what someone else is eating.  Ugh. 

It has gotten so bad that I've brought in a loaf of bread, peanut butter, and jelly just in case I start gagging over what I'm supposed to be eating (yes this really happened). 

I'm not sure if this is happening because I bring leftovers from the night before and therefore I'm turned off by it since I just ate it? 

I mean, I've never been a big leftover person.  I can typically only eat pasta, pizza, or like grilled chicken as leftovers.  Otherwise, I should probably just throw it out...

I get really sicked out if what I'm eating has gotten soggy somewhere along the way.  You know, like soggy bread.  Or soggy lettuce.  Or soggy taco's (ew). 

My PBJ plan has worked out pretty well so far...except for the days when I don't have time to eat breakfast in between going to the gym, showering, and getting on the road to go to work so I'm forced to make a PBJ or PBB (peanut butter and banana) sandwich to eat for breakfast.  So then it's like too much PB for one day if I eat it for lunch too. 

I think my main problem is cooking for one.  I make more food than what I need and then I feel guilty for not eating it again.

I've always made HUGE meals.  My old roommate used to make fun of me for cooking too much food and not eating the leftovers.  I think this comes from cooking for my family when I was little and apparently that skill of cooking for four has carried over into my single-adult life.

SO, if anyone out there has any fabulous recipes for uno, please, give them to me!! 

OR, if you have any grand ideas for lunch, I'm all ears! 

When 3:00 rolls around I'm usually starving and lord knows that chocolate covered pretzel at work (that's been sitting around for 2 years) isn't going to get eaten.  Oh wait.....


I am having some serious writer's block lately.  I have like 20 blogs started, but I can't seem to finish them. 

I'm hoping that I'll gain some inspiration over Thanksgiving break in between shopping and stuffing myself. 

Anayway, I found this picture from when I was a little tot and thought you'd like it too.  

If only headphones were still that size today... 

ALSO, one of my work pals, (and real pal too, I guess :)) just got engaged!  I want to steal her ring.  For real.  Nathan, please go shopping with my future husband. K? Thx.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

friendsgiving 2010.

Happy Friendsgiving!!

Oh boy, it's that time of year again when it's time to host the Vista Thanksgiving, Floyd friends and Family Thanksgiving, er, Annual Thanksgiving (?) dinner at my house!!! (the name seems to change with every place that we've lived...)

  You see, this has been a long running tradition in my group of friends; every year since our sophomore year of college (that's like 7 years ago or something...whoa) we have gotten together before Thanksgiving to eat, drink, and be merry.

Each year, the group of friends changes slightly as people move away, boyfriends (or fiances...or husbands), or babies are had, but for the most part, the group has stayed the same over the last 7 or so years.  This year was no different; I hosted 20+ people (dogs and babies included) to our annual feast!

10 pounds of mashed potatoes? I don't mind if I do...

Hello plate of carbs.  Everything looks all one color on my plate, but trust me, there were plenty of other colors. Apparently, I only wanted to eat things in the neutral color family...(well, minus the cranberries, obv)

Ooopsie.  Action shot. You look good guys! Shovel that food in!! :)

Marla and I shared a romantical dinner by the window.  We apparently smelled or something because no one would sit with us. :(

We shared a few bottles of wine....

A few of us commented on how we're all growing up so nicely... We all used to be beer drinkers and we've gradually all grown up to love the red wine...ohh, what age will do to you.

Laila apparently drank too much and passed out. 

Or, she might have been tired from running the stairs in my house trying to get food from everyone...

Sweet little baby.  He hung out like this almost the whole entire night.  LOVE his little sweat suit with ears :)

Way to go friends on another successful Thanksgiving day feast!! 

Monday, November 15, 2010

the bird.

My parents are hi-larious.

My dad is quite the jokester, quite like myself, and unfortunately for my mom she gets the brunt of my dad's jokes.

Most of the time, my mom holds her ground and comes back with some clever one-liners, other times though, she resorts to flipping my dad the bird. 

Not only does she flip him off with the normal middle finger, but she's also cleverly come up with some secret code bird throwings. 

For example:

Three middle fingers. 

I think this is when she's kind of joking around and laughs off my dad's craziness.  This method is also kind of a secret way of letting my dad (or my sister or I or anyone for that matter) know that she's on the verge of getting pissed off.

It's also a good one to use if, say, we're in a restaurant and someone has said something that deserves to be flipped off, but in order to not draw attention to our table, the three middle fingers work better than just the plain old middle finger.

The pinky.

This is when she's a little more pissed and she shakes her fist a little more for the end user to know she means business with her non-verbal cussing.

The middle finger.

This is serious business, folks.  The mom is pissed. off. 

Or she could just be joking around and forgot to use one of the two above.

Anyway, if you should find yourself in a situation where flipping someone off is appropriate, feel free to use this handy guide above to give the bird a little change up, no one likes to see the same thing all the time. 

Try the three middle fingers. 

Or, if you're daring, the pinky.

Sure, people might ask you what the hell that means, but you'll know.  And that's all that matters.

And the winner is....


Looks like you'll get to get a bigger carseat for little Tucker!


Thanks to everyone for participating!

Thursday, November 11, 2010

It's the last day to enter!

Go here or comment below to tell me what you want to buy when you win a $35 gift card from CSN.

HURRY, the clock is ticking!

PS-I'm aware there's something crazy going on w/ my comment section--like you can't see them.  Don't worry, I can!  And I'm trying to get it fixed, but it's taking FOR-EV-ER.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

men + cats don't go together

Look, I'm sorry if I offend anyone, but grown, single men with cats or worse, kittens, is a HUGE no-no in my book.

This is what came up when I googled "weird cat guy"; thank you awkward family pet photos!

I get it that not everyone can be a dog lover like myself and I also get it that cats are easier to take care of (I guess? Apparently you can leave them for days and they take care of themselves...also ew, the litter box, gross).  But cats are strange. And grown men with cats are even stranger in my little book of life.

I know it may seem like a weird question to ask, but any time I go out on a first date I always ask if they are a cat or dog person, because more often than not, if they're a cat person, we're not going to make it too much past that first date...

I dated a guy for a while that had a 14 year old cat.  It was weird.  He apparently had a dog at one point and then when he moved into an apartment from a townhome (which I'm sure wasn't that much of a size difference, hello?!) he decided that he couldn't have the dog, so he gave it up for adoption.  My theory: he was lazy and couldn't hack having the responsibility of the dog.  Also, he was a momma's boy who loved his cat more than his adorable beagle.

Then I dated this other guy and he had like 3 cats.  He told me that he used to try to walk them.  WTF.  You don’t walk cat’s people.  That’s like me trying to make my dog poop in a box, it just doesn’t work that way.  

 FYI: not the guy a dated, just a random picture from the internets.

Sometimes when they ask why I don’t like cats I tell a little fib and say that I’m allergic because I think I might be a bad person for not liking cats as much as I do dogs.  And I used to think that I could make the dating situation work if I pretended to like cats.  

Long story short, I’m still single.

Monday, November 8, 2010

sweat it out.

I love working out.  LOVE. IT.

Ok, there are those occasional days (er, weeks) where it's the last thing that I want to do.  But, for the most part, it's right up there with being one of my favorite past times. 

I mean, yes, I'd rather go eat some delicious food with you, or have a drink every now and then, but working out does so much more for me than helping me be physically fit, it helps my attitude too.

This past week was kind of a doozie.  I wasn't all that busy, but it was a draining week.  I'm afraid of how much worse my attitude could have been if I hadn't gone to the gym. 

Take yesterday, for example.  I was dog sitting my sister and brother in law's dog, Bella. 

Sweet little belly, chewing up an ugly Jayhawk... :)
She's a sweet angel most of the time but sometimes she's a beast.  The dogs didn't quite "get" daylight savings yesterday so they were trying to be awake at 4 AM.  I was having nothing to do with that so we all went back to bed for a couple of hours. 

We were up again around 7:30 to go to the bathroom and I just decided to let the dogs have free reign (instead of going back to their kennels) of the house because I wasn't done sleeping.  Laila decided that she'd take a little rest with me, but Bella decided she needed to do some exploring. 

I was half asleep and half not and noticed that Ms. B was being extra quiet so I decided to go and check on her...only to walk out to a big pile of dog poo.  I cleaned that up and decided to check the rest of the house.  This dog must have had a rotten stomach or something because she managed to poop on every floor of my split level house...that's 4 poo's if you're counting.

I was not a happy camper.  Needless to say Ms. B went back to her kennel for a little bit after that episode.

Later that morning (ok, it was like 8 by this point), I went downstairs to watch some TV, aka-take a nap, and the dogs were going crazy and trying to lay on top of me on the couch.  Both of them.  Finally, they decided it was nap time too. 

This is how they like to be when they are around each other, always together and hovering over one another...well, Bella likes to hover, and Laila likes to sit on top of Bella, but you get the picture.

Everything was going fine until Bella's mom and dad came to pick her up and she decided to pee in the basement right in front of my brother-in law, just as a little "welcome home dad" gift. 

I was a little annoyed, but, I do need to point out that my dog also loses all of her manners when she goes to their house (they occasionally find little rabbit turds hidden in only places that Laila can get to, oops).  Dogs are silly sometimes.

Anyway, after Bella left, I decided that I needed to get out of my PJ's and go to the gym. 

Maybe it was the fact that I was kicking and punching the crap out of a bag that made this workout extra good, or just the fact that I made it out of the house and to the gym on a Sunday.

Either way, sweating seems to always make me feel better.  If I feel like I'm getting sick, I tend to go to the gym instead of taking meds because I think that I can sweat the toxins out of my body.  I'm weird, I know.  But I don't like taking medicine.  AND, if I'm having a horrible day, going to the gym to sweat usually makes the day seem 10 times better than what it started as. 

What do you do when you're having a bad day? Is the gym your go-to place to get out of a funk?


Friday, November 5, 2010

drumroll please....the giveaway is here!

Who's ready to shop?!

The lovely people at CSN are giving one of you lucky ducks a $35 gift certificate to go shopping!

There is so much to look at I don't even know where to start...

I could be the best daughter ever and look for new Dining room chairs for my parents new house; I could go crazy in the kitchen gadget area for my friends wedding shower; I could get some snow boots for my little dog Laila; or I could replace all of the ugly gold lighting in my house with brand new brushed nickel fixtures...the possibilities are endless on this website!

Oh, wait....I'm such a dingle, the gift card doesn't have my name on it; it belongs to one of you! :)

The drawing will go on for one week and one week only!!  After that, I will very scientifically choose a random winner.  
Here's what you need to do to enter:

1.  Visit the website

2.  Tell me what you would buy in the comment section below

3.  Leave me your email address in the comment section or send me an email with your email address included

(you can do this by clicking on my picture, under "about me" and then clicking on "email"; in case you win, duh)

4.  Tell all of your facebook or blogger friends to stop by and check out the drawing too.  It's obviously the cool thing to do.

The contest ends November 12th at noon so get busy! (the winner will be announced the morning of Monday, November 15th)

P.S.  CSN ships only to the US and Canada
(there MAY be international shipping charges for Canadian orders)

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

halloweiner recap. get it? weiner? because i have a weiner dog.

ohmygoodness.  Isn't she so cute?  She sat by the door all night waiting for trick or treater's in her bat costume.

First place, baby.  Richard Simmons sweatin to the oldies! these are my work peeps. Richard (aka jenny) led us in a sweaty workout regime in front of most of our company.  Everyone LOVED it.

So, now that Halloween is over with, it's time to start thinking about when to decorate for Christmas. 

I have been well aware that Christmas is right around the corner because the grocery store has Cranberry Splash Sierra Mist back in stock.  If you haven't tried this stuff, you're seriously missing out.  It screams that the holiday's are right around the corner.

ALSO, a few of the radio stations in town are playing Christmas songs already.  It's still a little too early, even for me (however, I did sing along with Celiene Dion to Oh Holy Night on my way home from work today).

So since Christmas is slowly approaching and it's almost time for me to bust out my ginormous tree, I also need to start figuring out what kinds of cookies I'm going to pass out to the neighbors on their holiday plates (Mon-can you move back to help w/ holiday baking please? thx) and find my Elf dvd so that I can start watching it on a semi-regular basis.