My fear of snakes officially started when I was mowing the yard at my parents house when I was like 9 years old. A mammoth python (I think, or it may have been a black snake, but is there really a difference? I think not) fell from one of the big trees in my parent's yard right in front of me on the riding lawn mower. I may have peed in my pants a little I was so scared.
Luckily the python shimmied on across the road and disappeared into a field but I was scarred for life. Every time that I had to drive the lawn mower under that tree again, I put the mower into full speed, a whopping 5 MPH, to hopefully not have to experience that nightmare again. Why are you so scared of snakes, Matt? Did a snake almost fall on your head when you were a kid? I feel like I have a valid reason for screaming like a pansy when I see them, I bet you do too, right?
See, there was this one time in college when you were supposed to come and pick all of us girls up from the bars. Andrea went in to wake you up and instead of waking up like a normal person, you FREAKED out and started screaming something about snakes. They were apparently all over you and all over the floor because you were hopping around on the bed to get away from them and screaming about them being everywhere. Andrea couldn't figure out what the HELL was going on so she flipped on the lights (just to make sure that there weren't actually snakes) and you kept jumping around squealing "Snakes! Get them off! They're everywhere!"
Luckily you came to after Andrea met you in the hallway and she was crying from laughing so hard. Man were we confused when we heard this story! First of all picturing you jumping on Jess' bed and second of all hearing that you were screaming about snakes. You are a grown man, afterall.
Oh, Matt...I hope that you'll keep reading my stories I know I have more interesting tales I can share about you if I have to reel you back in...chewy chocolate chip, anyone? Miss you!
|Matt and the snakes.|