DL.

I know that DL usually means "down low" like you know a secret and you're asked to keep it on the DL...however in this instance DL stands for Driver's License.  In all honesty, I should probably keep these pictures I'm about to show you on the DL, but I decided to share...I'm embarrassed that I'm doing this to be quite honest, but every time I bust out this ancient driver's license picture from 10 years ago, people laugh.  So here you go, enjoy:

Vomit.

Gaw, mom!!  Why did you allow me out of the house?!  I'm not exactly sure what was going on with my bangs, my eyebrows, the color of my hair, the hair cut, the sunburn, or really just my overall look.  I'd like to think that I've outgrown that awkward stage.

Ew.

Round 2: a slight improvement over the last one, but still not much better. I kind of look drunk or maybe the camera flash just scared me?

A few months ago at the DMV to renew my license I'm waiting patiently for the nice gentleman to take my picture.  Actually, he wasn't that nice, or at least not to the people in front of me.  He was actually kind of rude.  It's finally my turn to get my picture taken and I step in front of the blue curtain and smile as he takes my head shot and ask if my eyes are open, because more often than not, they're closed (see above, they're like half open...).  He responds with (as he's handing me my receipt that also doubles as my driver's license for the next 2 weeks) "Your picture looks great; now on this black and white copy you might think you look a little pixelated, but on your color driver's license your natural beauty and radience will shine through."  OH, um....thank you? 

The pictures are only getting better with age, people.

Also, while we're on this subject...those little receipts they hand out while you wait for your real license to show up are crap.  I can't tell you how many bars/restaurants I went to that wouldn't accept it.  Luckily I keep those little expired treasures above in my wallet for situations like this.