Tuesday, November 9, 2010

men + cats don't go together

Look, I'm sorry if I offend anyone, but grown, single men with cats or worse, kittens, is a HUGE no-no in my book.

This is what came up when I googled "weird cat guy"; thank you awkward family pet photos!

I get it that not everyone can be a dog lover like myself and I also get it that cats are easier to take care of (I guess? Apparently you can leave them for days and they take care of themselves...also ew, the litter box, gross).  But cats are strange. And grown men with cats are even stranger in my little book of life.

I know it may seem like a weird question to ask, but any time I go out on a first date I always ask if they are a cat or dog person, because more often than not, if they're a cat person, we're not going to make it too much past that first date...

I dated a guy for a while that had a 14 year old cat.  It was weird.  He apparently had a dog at one point and then when he moved into an apartment from a townhome (which I'm sure wasn't that much of a size difference, hello?!) he decided that he couldn't have the dog, so he gave it up for adoption.  My theory: he was lazy and couldn't hack having the responsibility of the dog.  Also, he was a momma's boy who loved his cat more than his adorable beagle.

Then I dated this other guy and he had like 3 cats.  He told me that he used to try to walk them.  WTF.  You don’t walk cat’s people.  That’s like me trying to make my dog poop in a box, it just doesn’t work that way.  


 FYI: not the guy a dated, just a random picture from the internets.

Sometimes when they ask why I don’t like cats I tell a little fib and say that I’m allergic because I think I might be a bad person for not liking cats as much as I do dogs.  And I used to think that I could make the dating situation work if I pretended to like cats.  

Long story short, I’m still single.

4 comments:

  1. I wish I could make Stevie poop in a box.

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  2. I agree...I dated this guy one time who kept the litter box in his bedroom and what makes it worse is that we were in bed one time when Mr. Kitty decided to come in and take a HUGE, smelly shit...I almost puked. Talk about a mood killer...Cats are gross and totally not as cool as dogs, so don't feel bad about being a dog person.

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  3. cats are nasty...and men that have cats are even nastier! barf.

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