Sunday, December 5, 2010

speed dating. fail.

Are mail order brides still around?  If so, how can I become one?

OK, totally kidding (kind of).  But dating seriously sucks.  Like big time.  I'm perfectly OK with a husband falling from the sky into my lap at any time now.

I’ve been doing this dating thing for a looong time.  I’ve tried the online thing and can’t exactly say that that was successful.  I’ve been set up through friends and some of those were interesting.  But a few days ago; a few days ago was something new. 

A few days ago I went speed dating with three friends. 

One of the other girls and I were not exactly looking forward to it, partially because another friend of mine had gone to a similar event a few weeks ago and no guys showed I had very low expectations for the event the other night.  I’m not even sure how my friends found out about it, but I remember getting an email that said to SIGN UP NOW, OR ELSE! So I did…

Now, to some of you (probably all of you married or engaged people) speed dating probably sounds "so fun!"  But to us single folk, it kind of sounds like the potential for the most awkward night ever. 

While the speed dating event wasn’t so much awkward, it was very much entertaining.  I still am wondering what planet some of these guys that showed up came from.  Let me give you a little run-down:

First up to bat was Kumar.  Yep, just like the movie, “Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle.”  Oddly enough, Kumar and I were matched up online a year or so ago and I have absolutely NO IDEA why.  I do remember that his pictures online were of him kind of slouched over, hands down to his sides, smiling, squinting and standing by a bed (fully clothed, FYI).  In every picture.  It was so weird.  I really wish that the online site would’ve let me make copies of pictures…

Kumar looked like he could barely keep his eyes open last night and either was so nervous or so excited to be there that he couldn’t ask me a single question.  So it was up to me to keep this convo going for a good five minutes.  We talked about his love of 80’s music, Envouge, and the last concert that he went to, which was Britney Spears. 

I asked, since he loved the 80’s so much, if he was a huge fan of NKOTB (New Kids on the Block, obviously) or Vanilla Ice.  Much to my disappointment, he wasn’t…    

Then there was Derek.  He seemed normal enough, but shy. No real story here…pretttty boring.  I was on the fence with him on whether or not to circle yes or no…and then, I overheard a conversation with someone else that he had a cat.  Done deal.  NO.

Then we get to the really, really interesting ones…

Shaun seemed normal at first.  Then he started talking about how he found out about the speed dating event.  Apparently the website, is where most of the guys found out about speed dating.  I had never heard of it before....

Apparently also lets you find people with similar interests and form your own groups.  Shaun has formed his own group of people interested in magic and hypnosis.  Right up my alley!

So for our special five minutes I learned about how he can't wait to have his first meeting about magic and the like.  We did share an interest in food.  So that was one positive.

Last, but certainly, not least was Steve.  He reminded me somewhat of a greasy Chris Farley.  A larger guy with glasses and a sport coat and kind of a snotty attitude.

Steve was an actor.  In Kansas City, nonetheless.  He also said that he did stand up at a comedy club that no longer exists, and that he used to teach Tae Kwan Do (although I'm not sure what year that was in...).

There were two guys that seemed the most normal out of the group, but even still I'm going to have to pass even if we do end up being a match...they were both reallllly skinny and short.  Damn the luck.

Even though I didn't find my true love, the event was at the very least entertaining and made for some good stories the next morning.  While it wasn't as terrbile as I had imagined, I'm not sure if I'll venture back to a speed dating event any time soon...



  1. I just read this out loud to Whittah while we both cracked up! I think I need to try speed dating now...if anything, because my stories on my blog need a boost. ; )

  2. Good for you for giving it a try! I think I'd be too nervous to show my best qualities.

    Getting drunk in a bar is still the number one way to meet people. Just kidding ;)

  3. It surely does sound entertaining. I'm currently writing a history of bad dates on my blog. This would have been GREAT material! ha ha.