It's true, and it's gross, but I burp.
Like not a little, lady-like, delicate burp. This is like a huge manly, beer drinking burp.
But I can't help it. A wise woman once told me: "Better to let them out than to bear the pain" and I couldn't agree more. (Of course, this wise woman also has a slight burping problem herself...but who's asking.)
My dad used to tell me when I was interviewing for jobs a few years ago that no one would hire me because of my burping problem. Luckily for me, I found a job where the people that I work with might just produce a little more gas (and by gas, I, of course mean burps) than myself.
It doesn't seem to matter what I eat or drink; these monster burps just escape me for no apparent reason.
Drink Water: burp
Wake up: burp
Go to the Gym: burp
Even with nothing in my stomach! Gaw!
I went to the doctor for it thinking they'd be able to give me some miracle drug to make it stop, but they said that I was healthy and my eating habits are healthy and that there really isn't much they can do. UGH.
Even when I try to muffle the sound, it still sounds like a lion.
If I were to enter some kind of burping contest I would burp easily win. Hands down. I am that talented.
I'm so gross!
Anymore though, the burping has become a little bit of a trademark for me.
At a wedding reception recently a party-goer talking to one of my friends referred to me as "that girl who had the loudest burps ever on the dance floor." Pure classiness right there, folks.
My mom and dad are so proud.